If I fall, I will fall on my knee
Before you can whisper your apologies,
If I drown, I will drown to the bedrock
Before your last breathe is wrought…
I will dream your nightmares,
Drink poison to your good health,
And I can Lie, if you will me to,but...
If you promise me...before Life bows...
Promise me the breathless 3 seconds of death….
And not one second more…
Leave,
But never leave me
Alone.
Discarded memories turn to deride
Some forgotten ones on a back-bench day,
They starve on futile, hostile roses
Those grow too late and before no days
Come to pass…pass by any longer…
Nauseous guilt and choked repentance,
And the memories lost run on
Rain adrenaline alone,
The raw, wet hive of sweet ignorance,
Thrive on a frozen besotted pillow—
An attic avalanche,
Despondent to soulful, tearful eyes
And resplendent to the ashes turned to dust,
When memories go senile…
But I shall be good, I shall love
I shall be kind and faithful at last.
When the winters will plead
The trees to protect the earth from cold
Under their swath of leaves
I shall come back
Brighter than gold
And sing to you forever
Of tales untold.
A carved name still embellishes
This bark of our old mango tree
That reminiscently falls through air and lands
Safely on its own swath of wrinkled leaves
Now crunched to mere dirt in their wind-games,
A race to the top of this Hill,
A good father’s pledge, a good nurse’s creed
And all that was left of good wills...
When all is lost in a burnt page,
When I can merely sit and pray---
Let them be good, let them love
Let them be kind and faithful at last…
Trembling hands and clumsy trust,
Lashing out at the smallest prudence
In the hope of a never-ending hush…
No cracks or cackle shall disarray
This tryst with hypnosis, we’ve all come to obey.
Where it began, how it grows
A flightless beanstalk or a rabbit hole,
Beyond knowing where it goes…
We all agree to slither in pursuit…
Where boulevards all come to meet,
And twilighted sunset reclaims the weed,
And our stolen thunders collide mid-sky…
Our shattered cups do fly…
Hanging computers, dysfunctional phones,
Isolated captives, distractions alone…
Soul-mates, many, who never yearn to kiss,
A smile, a surprise before we begin to wish…
Nothing falls apart…because everything does,
Nothing has to heal…because everything does.
When the stars do begin to finally fade,
These cups will ascend and take their place…
High up in the sky...
Wondering what we were.
All in a day’s work,
The hearts do heal.
A pat on a back,
And a repaired heel…
And it all reverts
To seemingly unreal.
Only a chosen thunder
Chase our lightning trills...
Find her...find her...
The consciousness grows near,
With the distant calling of hawks,
Like a defiant storm in a rain-shadow,
It crafts its way on the rocks…
It glides, it sways, it bends away
Where it fears a crouched stranger
And ricochets off the Himalayan eyes
To remain deep under forever.
Though the floundering eyes
Know all the signs
Of the approaching thunder,
It will not shriek and cower
Inside the stark fault-lines.
Pity in the long run of yards,
You knew so little that you knew her...
She gave you life, she gave you trysts
And you gave in for her...
Stone-headed with hope this time,
Your rhymes all merge to slurs,
They dim away like a frigid star
To die to give respite to a million desires.
They keep awake the consciousness still…
Tip-toeing across the moist grass,
A little girl with a basket in hand
Of morning twinkles and scarlet flowers...
Two lines, that never rhymed
At the age of four...
Two times, the word repeats---
The last time she shone!
Mud-pies in the rain
Shall be washed away,
Snowmans in the snow
Shall crystallize alone…
I hear the deranged birds of the sea,
Cooing to the waves to slow down,
To cease in their relentless footfalls,
Where they bury the turtle-nests…
Almost extinct now, like the innocence
That somehow missed me, and I miss it too…
Hello, I missed you…
Was there a night, a slurry diary night,
Polluted sheens in the skies I would cite,
As secrets were still secrets and lies were lies,
When I would miss crouching on the window-sill…
Staring into space in a direction I would feel
Slept my first love…
Yet…I missed you…
There was a girl, who sat next to me
Who spoke with her eyes, but couldn’t cry.
She left her books in a tidy pile, and one day…
I wrote in them my unflinching ‘goodbye’.
We met again, we sat again…
But her eyes never spoke to me,
I missed the page, which she should have missed…
With my ‘sorry’, written on it…
Oh, lonely, drenched evening kites,
Forgotten, tangled and estranged slights…
Home of joys, now homeless by night,
Who will miss them tomorrow?
Sighs. Their quavering, articulate sighs.
That held them afloat all this time.
Sighs. Alone.
And as the rumour goes, mimicking these kites
Time also flies—not in the wind, not with the birds…
But time does know how to fly…
Till the ink runs dry, and sighs expire…
And second chances become extinct too…
Chances that somehow missed me at first,
Hello, I missed you too.
I am walking behind a queue today,
Waiting for my turn…
Patience runs low seldom,
Though man at the counter is slow…
The ride to here was on a one-way road
It was raining, it was rain-washed
I missed a few signals, yet the ride didn’t last…
I missed a few turns; I missed many road-signs,
I missed them all, but time still flies…
Mud-pies in the rain
Shall be washed away…
Snow-mans in the snow
Shall crystallize alone…
Castles in the airI know the Gods are crying this time
For their blessings back,
Promising this wretched urchin a soul,
No fingers crossed in that…
But this urchin just wants to drown
And take the city along,
Smirks and sways in its last raindance,
Laughing its last rain-song…
I am that urchin without a soul
Clawing and feeling my way,
Craving for space between your restless eyes,
Wishing you would look away…
Distance and time fall short with me,
As I chase my conscience,
Distance and time run on stilts
As you chase my confessions…
When the fault-lines around my mind
Give in to rabbit-holes,
You shall fall and disappear
With only what you know…
My laughter will ebb,
So will the tears…
And the rest of my raindrops;
But who shall pray
For this wretched urchin now…
When you’re crying with the Gods?
