There was a time when I blinked more times in the sun
But tilted my head upwards to bask in the omniscient heat rays,
Apathetic to the darkening tan in the cells of my façade…
A time when the sun and nobody else endeavored to darken this face…
There was a time…
There was a time when I ate powdered milk out of cupped hands,
Hid plastic gem-stones in mud-sands
And hid in seamless shadows thinking they could hide my shimmering little frame…
A time when no shadow in the world could hide this little frame…
There was a time…
There was a time when I was afraid of shapes in the night,
Would cringe from blasts of wind through the trees
And cling to Ma’s chest thinking there was a lock where our skins would meet…
A time when no one tried to cleave me from my imaginary locks…
There was a time…
There was a time when I lied about homework,
Bland food and how the school-skirt got wet
And prayed to god, I never understood, to let me redeem my fate…
A time when lies were paler than white and my fate was god-redeemed…
There was a time…
There was a time when I felt guilty about not liking grandma’s cooking,
About 13 seconds of dirty thoughts at thirteen,
About wanting any new toy or clothe, and sneakily using Ma’s nail-polish,
A time that was guilty of oblivion to the secrets of guilt’s consent…
There was a time…
There was a time when the rains would make me shiver much more,
But made me laugh much louder and longer,
When I lived each day for the night
And the two hours of lying awake
In bed---a child insomniac,
When I had fewer friends to think about and no lovers at all…
A time when my mind was clearer than the rain and I could love much much more…
There was a time…
A song, a ghost, a crime to my present,
A time when I was too short to open doors…
Yet somehow always found them wide open …
A time when I was good,
I had nothing to begrudge…
A time when I was easily homesick...
But funny how it was never quite this much…
Never.
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