Saturday, October 23, 2010

My bad Memory

I miss walking with clouds busily crossing the moon,
Stumbling and awakening a little pebble
With my little left foot.
Scooping it up and petting it,
Lulling it back to sleep...
And pocketing it,
Praying Ma will miss it among other things...
Knowing little how she would miss it more than me....
Then there were the other times I would wake up on a birthday,
Ready to see sunshine..even through rain...
And close my eyes, letting it all happen all too soon...
Day after, I would wish
It was yesterday once again---
My birthday with the sweet plastic smell of balloons...
Remembering with a shock at some neighbouring kid's birthday alone...
I miss taking home and taking to bed
My new pair of shoes
Cuddling and falling asleep
Dreaming black and red
It would be a love-hate thing
I would have loathed and cried over it
Earlier that day in the middle of chuckling adults...
But come the end of the day,
It would be my new ugly pair of shoes
Whom I would love and marry anyways.
A perfect ending for a yet to begin Me....
No,a stab of nostalgia over a spilled cup of tea...
Praying everyone will miss it among other things...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Some Idea of Peace

After all that's transpired,I am sanguine about only two things in life---
1.I am still alive and capable of humor.
2.I can't relinquish who I am.


The otherwise stable frame of my mind will never fade away just like that.Never give away.It will always cling to its I-am-right justifications and no matter how loud the other voice in my head screams back lessons that we had all learnt as kids, my vices, my eccentricities will always feel justified to themselves and hence...STAY.
Hence,here's my theory.
The ice-cream cones melt faster when you start slurping up its yumminess.In the absence of anyone to devour me in any way---good or bad--- in the so-called solitude...I can refrain from the inevitable meltdown longer.
Loneliness is good, solitude is constructive.
When there's nobody to fray it, the mind can hold its peace.In peace.

Death after Life

It ricochets off the burning, musty rain-swelled walls....
In a plastered room
Where the smell of paper never quite dies.

These rueful water-flecked hushed words
Will never be heard, I know...
One day they will die too.
Drowned, with the deity...
I know.

Yet the secrets that years ago seemed so magical
Have dimmed....
Down to a feisty firefly on a hurried dashami twilight...
Doomed to become invisible.
Caught in the scorches of screaming rainbow lights all'round...

Doomed...
To die down ...long before its death...

Long after the dhakis had left
These heartbeats fail to sleep...

They live, awake,aware and rapid
To the world that has died---once---
With the scarring, chaste beats...

And all I can think---
I had lived once...
Right here.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Mine

Carnal image of  lies
Implications of truth.

A red-eye moment
Of falsely high-pitched 'cheese',
And a single, miraculous moment
Of one pained smile.
No frame to drain
The glint from their eyes,
But a chalk of finger-prints...

For running over the faces...
One too many times.

But Time is a ghost,
Bellows and grows,
Until it blows
It all away.

And away...

I have no home,
A small reason perhaps...

But the smile,
Those eyes,
The single, miraculous smile.

Mine, still mine,

All mine...