Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Inconsolable Nor-westers

If only…

If only this wind could promise to be the fingers,
To run through your hair,
Brushing away crispy fallen leaves
And fireflies of the twilight,
I could cross my heart
And go to sleep forever…
Something is...
Growing ever louder
Seemingly hailed with the distant murmurs,
From the rim of the darkening western horizon.

I need no other consolation.

The day we began is now lost in a blue blur,
Blinding the day we end
To it. How can they see,when our roads
Have parted, stripped of,clearly?
If only I could take away
One of these days with me, in this world or other…

Stop this fight!
Something is...
Growing louder…
Seemingly with the distant murmurs,
From the rim of the darkening western sky.

The day that was,is gone suddenly.
But I know it’s just a passing Norwester.
Though the night has cast its net early,
I know it’s just a passing Nor-wester.

This Nature won’t kill me this soon.
Not when I want to love it so.
I know…

And the end of my soul,
Feels consoled.
How can I console you too?

The day has gone…to console the day a firefly left your hair.
Here I leave my diaries to you, my confessions...
All the while I broke you down, tore your life apart,
My consolation was my urge,to be your consolation.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Rivalry--the song.

Oh! You disfigured green locust
Come to distract my focus from my prey.
How you find me time and again,I wonder!
I don't want to fight you anymore...

Don't cling to me any longer,
Remember your last pitfall.
I will come for me out of the dark.
I will come..once more.

Oh! you have made it your sordid destiny
To be renamed as my one and only nemesis.
While the void inside your head screams to you
I don't want to fight anymore...

Blood has been dripping in my wake,
Where you have me derailed.
Yet,when,I write these words,I must be awake,
You must have failed!

Why not?
Forever,savour the blood
Of what you conquer.



Wednesday, May 14, 2008

That Old Fear of Losing You

Fell the sweat from the hair in my eyes,
I came to a halt,to push it aside.
In a stoop,clutching my knees,
Panting this hard,the dust swirled up around my feet,
I curse the wrath
Of whoever that
Has been chasing me.
Till then my eyes were closed.
My body was cramped and soaked.
I laid crouched,upon my scarlet day.
Delirious,the hot water bag cannot convey
The unfinished words begged of me today…
By faces and voices, I care for so little.

I did not want my eyes open,
Did not want them to witness my pain.

So closed again, they search for me
Where I was last panting.
Now there is a solitary tree,upon my path
Hung with bald solitude,and twigs swathed
In ice crystals vividly opaque.
Thus I am looking skywards in hope,
This is a dream,so the sun is blazing,afloat,
In the mirage sky,and I don’t need to look down
To know the source of the next sound…

This time my eyes open calm, blithe,
Don’t know when the day rolled into night.
Before me staring ,at me beseechingly,
Is the still windchain
I know,I know….I was wrong,
Its not only the rain
That can awake me.
Its not just the elements that arouse me.
Maybe I am not as numb as I used to be.
I dissolve again beneathe closed eyes,
To be resolved in the startling fluorescent light.
In an elevator,going nowhere,or somewhere…
I should,and I could,but I don’t care.
Alone I was,with my reflection in the metal door,
Till it was replaced for a moment and forever with yours.

I couldn’t look away,
From your tinkering locket
From that mesmerizing,confusing halo made
On the protruding letterings on it.
It couldn’t be the 3 p.m.sun telling me,
The long day still remains...
We're still in the elevator!
And then too close to my ear,I hear
One Tick.

I break away.
From your embrace.
What is happening?
I thought you were gone!
Why are you with me?
I thought I never knew you!
Who are you???

I give away….
Don't heed me...I'm giving away...
Delirious with this compulsive pain...
I give away.

Monday, May 12, 2008


I had chanced upon a new path, a shortcut among short lanes
Through the marketplace…

And I chose to take it.

But was a path…shorter as it may be,
Overflowed with urban insanity.

Empoweringly shameless

Men who shoved a maimed, limbless boy
Out of their way.

And the stagnant salty,humid air of the cluttered
Fragmenting place….had succumbed to the unresisting
Pain slowly, had succumbed to silence.

I stopped one day,in my unrelenting way,to see
What kept the coins in our wallets.

Was everyone there struggling inside…like me,
Had conscience really left?

Was the path really such a mistake?
Couldn’t it be simply mistaken?

Friday, May 9, 2008

Successive times

(when the fallen petals grudgingly crunched beneathe our feet and pierced the silence,all we could do is confess to each other that we had a past beyond ourselves...why??because...that's the most significant thing about human lives.nothing is we kiss again,to savour the moment that we had...after confession.)

When you started to fumble with the reigns
Is when I started to gain my foothold again,
Look up at your assassin,
You were always fated to be

I succeed you to your crown,
Accept your defeat, it was meant to be.
Not a divine consequence,
Not even so much as a revenge,
Its been long now since you did
For the likes of this moment of glory.
And the glory is mine,
Its my time.
For this we were both destined.

Nothing is forever.

When you started to grumble under the burden
Was when I was sought by your very men,
To fix your complacence,
You were always fated to be
Thus overthrown.

By me or another poor thing
Brooding and grieving in the dark.
Some are leaving this land now,
Some curse you with death now,
They all agree, they all want
A leader, an assassin from their own clan.
They’re tired of being deceived by you,
They all want someone new.
This your successsion.

Nothing is forever.

Meanings and Misnomers

There’s the weak shudder of a half green sprout,
Like the others, it wishes it could too vibrate,
It worships its hinges to the mother plant,
Hoping, and praying, it never has to separate.
When a mockingbird flies past your home,
With a tweep,past the window,on the eleventh floor,
Do you stop fiddling with the processed chicken soup,
And listen,it asks you, 'what do you do?oh,what do you do?'

We fight in vain over the myriad varied names
For the varying addresses of heaven and hell.
While behind the corner of our eyes, life mutates
With mankind, into a misnomer…colossal.

I see myself in a half-buck coin precariously
Wedged in a corner, of a busy soiled gutter.
And in the water streaming the serene face,
In frozen escapade, of a stallion’s fountain sculpture.

Who needs a name! Who needs an address?
… When it’s all the same, a part of this beautiful nest?

I have touched a purple grain
Hidden within
The white sands of the shore
Where earth ends,
Paradise begins,
And I find my evanescence…
Buried beneath and hovering over
Them I shall forever remain,
I shall find my heaven in them,
And the reason for the
Existence of my very name.

We fight in vain over the seven varied names
For the varying addresses of heaven and hell.
While behind the corner of our eyes, life mutates
With mankind, into a misnomer...colossal.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Chaotic Simple life

Collapse onto my shoulders,
I am still here,
When everyone is gone, and I am bereaved,
I refuse to be taken…away.
Was a lapse of continuum, maybe,
Through a listless haze,
When everyone has left for, god knows where!-
I’m still pinned to my hideout in your arms.
Don’t have much of anyone else to confide in,
Don’t even have the weaker ones to console,
It’s a world to dare, am I the awkward one?
I walk the lonely path. No eyes to gawp when I stumble.

I am vulnerably awake to your innocence.
I am perfectly sane, I know I don’t want
To be suspended in the sick dreamlessness.

Mulling over the sirens screeching
About the changing skies,
Whether or not to heed it,
Or to stay open wide…
Not to the change, but to claim,
My own worship.

The singed hair will have to regrow,
I will have to reap the seeds I've sowed.
But I am certain,the strands will never whiten
As long as I am not here to just go.

Lines have never been, never will be.
Lines are for second lives, if that exists.

Chaos,my god,
Keep me righteous.
Keep the crumpled pages
Up flying in the sky,
So I can remember what was on my mind,
When I penned down, my simple immature life.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Love me,zephyr.

I was basked in the bitterness of caramel
Reminiscent of the spinning hues of a carnival.
I was estranged, alive but limp and bleached,
In the humorless rain for months at a stretch,
I’d been so hungry, so hungry that I would feed
On the white-hot flakes of my soldering dreams.

But it never came.
And I was never hopeless.

To be able to blame its slow tick-tock,
For long I had been winding my wall-clock,
I’ve grown rigid, a potted plant,in the slow motion
Of the one-dimensional, unchanging, legions
Of words,same words,same weak,unique words
And out the glass door,I hear the rain approach.

Once again, it came.
It never came.

I’m sprawled on the brown lawn,
I’ve shed the last shred of clothing,
Sprinklers come to life,
Like they know I’m sinking,
Into the depths of the folds of my own skin.
I’ve unleashed the hunger,I go no further,
And no one has seen me this way before.

You were never here,
Everytime it rained.
In the losing desire,
Never saw a victorious zephyr,
What was it that kept you away,
The rain or the wait for zephyr?
I don’t know you like I knew them,
I don’t trust you the way I did them,
But I’m more naked than ever before,
No one has seen me this way before.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Tireless Wonderment

Chastified, tepid nigh night,
Unwoven waves thrash inside,
Hold me quiet, help me shun
The screaming voices close by,
They’re gnawing at my crown.
And don’t tell me the voice is mine,
Don’t want to know,
Don’t want to know where my chosen path
Has tossed me today.
For tomorrow is laid in its boulevard,
It needs me,as do I.
My dreams have suffered in the fear of this find,
Don’t tease me, my lost child.

Like you, I want to be just like you,
My aimless, missing one.
Like the melted silver tears of the moon,
Fuelling the pace of my sleep.
Like you, let me be just like you.

Dimpled dirty soot-black face,
I yearn for your snow-white embrace.
I need your wandering legs,and
Your sundry curiosity complex,
Wash me with your facecloth,
I wish to collapse on your knees,
Long to faint in peace.
Long to wait in peace for the waning of my morrows
In the light after darkness.
I tremble stiff,like the crystallized leaves
Of a snow besotted suburb.
The ashen brick pillars sigh steam and smoke on my mind,
Even as I lie naked in the open.

I long to be like you,little one.
I long for the surprise that my
Mirrortwin can evoke with my
Eyes open wide
I reach to touch the other face
Across the edge of this lonely Reality,
Beyond the barbwire of tangibility.
And I stroke the awe of the truth that I
Behind my shadow,exist.
Commit me ,child, again to that Avalon
Of mermaids and fairies.

Oh,innocent aimless child,make me wonder again.
Make me wonder,not why I am me…
But how I got to be the one and only…