Wednesday, May 14, 2008

That Old Fear of Losing You

Fell the sweat from the hair in my eyes,
I came to a halt,to push it aside.
In a stoop,clutching my knees,
Panting this hard,the dust swirled up around my feet,
I curse the wrath
Of whoever that
Has been chasing me.
Till then my eyes were closed.
My body was cramped and soaked.
I laid crouched,upon my scarlet day.
Delirious,the hot water bag cannot convey
The unfinished words begged of me today…
By faces and voices, I care for so little.

I did not want my eyes open,
Did not want them to witness my pain.

So closed again, they search for me
Where I was last panting.
Now there is a solitary tree,upon my path
Hung with bald solitude,and twigs swathed
In ice crystals vividly opaque.
Thus I am looking skywards in hope,
This is a dream,so the sun is blazing,afloat,
In the mirage sky,and I don’t need to look down
To know the source of the next sound…

This time my eyes open calm, blithe,
Don’t know when the day rolled into night.
Before me staring ,at me beseechingly,
Is the still windchain
I know,I know….I was wrong,
Its not only the rain
That can awake me.
Its not just the elements that arouse me.
Maybe I am not as numb as I used to be.
I dissolve again beneathe closed eyes,
To be resolved in the startling fluorescent light.
In an elevator,going nowhere,or somewhere…
I should,and I could,but I don’t care.
Alone I was,with my reflection in the metal door,
Till it was replaced for a moment and forever with yours.

I couldn’t look away,
From your tinkering locket
From that mesmerizing,confusing halo made
On the protruding letterings on it.
It couldn’t be the 3 p.m.sun telling me,
The long day still remains...
We're still in the elevator!
And then too close to my ear,I hear
One Tick.

I break away.
From your embrace.
What is happening?
I thought you were gone!
Why are you with me?
I thought I never knew you!
Who are you???

I give away….
Don't heed me...I'm giving away...
Delirious with this compulsive pain...
I give away.

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